Happiness comes from the world; therefore, the world can take it away.

Happiness is fleeting.

Happiness is that friend that makes plans with you and then cancels an hour before you’re supposed to go out.

Happiness is sometime-y.

Happiness is wishy-washy.

Happiness is undependable.

Happiness is unstable.

Happiness comes and goes and, it’s nice when it’s here but can be devastating when it’s gone. Happiness can make you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster depending on what you put your happiness in or where your happiness came from. Did you catch that? Happiness has its roots elsewhere; that’s why you can’t count on it. It doesn’t stick around because happiness has mobility. Have you ever worked a job, and when your work friend isn’t there, the whole day sucks? That’s because you’ve put your happiness in that work, friend.

One of the most dangerous things you can do is place your happiness in someone else. People are unpredictable and therefore disappointing. Everybody gets disappointed and can be disappointed by anyone. You see, happiness is also rooted in expectation. The saying goes: blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. The expectation was that your friend was coming to work today; the reality is they called out. You were hyped about the day because you expected to see your friend and cut up all day. Now you’re disappointed because they aren’t at work. The day seems longer, your other co-workers seem more annoying, and you aren’t happy. That doesn’t make your work friend a bad person; we can get disappointed by friends, family, people you like, and people you don’t. You have to learn to manage your expectations for the things and people in your life and remember not to put all your happiness into one thing or person. There’s another saying that goes: don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Continuing to place all your happiness in one person is a recipe for disaster. No one person can be all things to another person. At some point, disappointment will come, followed by unhappiness. Nothing in life is a sure thing, and even the best people will let you down. There are hard truths in life that everyone needs to come to terms with. Expecting the good with the bad comes with the territory. This goes back to managing expectations.

I remember I used to have a job, and I had a great friend that worked with me. She was a great employee, but she was also my friend, so our time at work was legendary. We got our work done, but we had a ton of fun together. So, of course, when we didn’t get to work together, it was horrible, but then the unthinkable happened; she quit. My reality: she left me. Now I had to work with these awful people, doing this stupid job, with no fun or happiness in sight. I was devastated. I lost my partner in crime, my best worker, my number one. Actual reality: she was getting a new job that was more in line with her career goals. It was a great move; it was going to allow her to grow and thrive. Sure, I was happy for her, but I was disappointed. My expectations had never allowed me to think that she would move on and break up our happy home. Now I needed to get used to a different environment without my friend. Did it kill me? No. Was I happy? No. Why? Because I allowed myself to put all my happiness in my friend, and now that she decided to move on, I had a void. This was my first lesson about the happiness rollercoaster.

Happiness is selfish.

Like I said before, one person can’t be everything to another person.

Don’t get me wrong; happiness is not a bad, negative, or useless emotion. Happiness can be wonderful. You feel good when you’re happy. You usually have a good time when you’re happy. Happiness can be great when you spread it out. One work friend called out; no problem, you and work friend number two can have a blast today. Even if the day is not going all that well, do you have something at home to look forward to? A good show on TV, a fur baby waiting on you to get home, or leftovers that were really good. Remember, you can find happiness just about everywhere; easy come easy go. That’s the upside to happiness being fleeting and wish-washy; just when you think you won’t recover, here it comes again.

Joy is unexplainable.

Joy comes from inside.

Joy isn’t given easily and therefore isn’t easily taken away.

Joy is that feeling every morning when you wake up that you’re grateful you made it through the night.

Joy is like oatmeal on a cold winter morning; it sticks to your bones. Joy makes you glow. You emanate joy. Joy is seeing the beauty in everything. Joy is looking past the imperfections. Whether you believe in God, energy, or just the stars, joy is transcendent. When your chakras are aligned, when you’re vibrating on a high level, when the Holy Spirit is in your heart, that’s joy. Joy is a fruit of the spirit, and the spirit lives within you. The difference between joy and happiness is that happiness comes from outside the self, whereas joy comes from within. Joy is cultivated and honed. Joy is not only about you but other’s contentment as well.

Joy is selfless.

Happiness is materialistic, about worldly pleasure, but joy is soul-satisfying. Happiness is about being in control, and joy comes when you let go and give up control. Accepting that this life is not your own brings peace, contentment, and joy. A lot of the stress of trying to meet milestones in life comes from trying to control every detail about life. That’s impossible. You cannot account for other people’s decisions, actions, or choices, and all of those things can and will affect the details of your life. Yes, you have free will and the ability to make your own choices but are you walking your own path or following someone else’s. Joy brings you a calmness and a stillness that allows you to recognize when your decisions are for you and no one else. Joy leads you to the things in life that are for you. Joy doesn’t tell you what you should be doing so it will look good on Instagram. Joy will make you forget about social media altogether.

Joy is constant.

Joy is uncomplicated.

Joy is soothing.

Joy is an attitude.

Joy is enough.

Joy is a choice purposefully made. Joy is not fly by night. Joy will not give up on you. Joy is dedicated. Once you have joy in your heart, worries don’t stay long, life choices become easier, the fog starts to lift, and other people’s opinions don’t matter. Your life becomes free, and you see your best life in any situation. Social media, society, or family are no longer dictating what you should be or where you should be. The storm gets a little quieter once you’ve found your joy.

I wake up every morning, and I give thanks and look forward to another day I get to keep keeping on. With joy in my heart, setbacks don’t get me down anymore; disappointments are far and few in between. I’ve learned to let go A LOT.  If I didn’t get a handle on happiness vs. joy, I would be one big ball of stress, and I’d probably be bald. So for the health of my hair and my well-being, I pray, meditate, have solo dance parties, read, and spend time in the Word. I do all these things to feed and cultivate my joy because that’s how I move in life.

Joy is the quiet confidence that tells you everything is going to be alright.