I have said it before, and I will say it again, my father most definitely raised the bar for my expectations of the man in my life. What I receive from my father is unconditional love, respect, support, honesty, motivation, kindness, etc. When I say he spoiled me, this is what he spoiled me with, and these are the traits I have become accustomed to and require of the man in my life. 

I do not require gifts, trips, and materialistic things to be spoiled, and that’s where this message gets muddled. I can and do provide for myself and have never looked for anyone to do for me. I can and do buy my own gifts and luxuries in life because nobody can or will spoil me like me. Yes, my father has provided material things for me, gone above and beyond for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful, but I do not have those expectations of the man in my life. Why? Because if he meets my expectations of love, respect, support, etc. he will go above and beyond for me because of those very traits not because it’s expected of him.

I can appreciate the fact that many fellas out there have amazing moms that have taken care of them in an amazing way, but let me be clear I am not your mother, and you should not expect me to be. In an intimate relationship, I am your partner, and I will provide love, respect, support, etc., but I’m not your maid or personal chef. Just because your mother cooked your every meal, cleaned up after you, and waited on you hand and foot doesn’t mean I will. That’s not an equitable relationship and not what you should expect from your partner.

Again, if your significant other meets your expectations of love, respect, support, honesty, etc. everything else will come naturally because of those traits not because they are a requirement in the relationship. I do for you because I want to, not because I have to.

This meme is really about being open and honest about your expectations from each other in a relationship, but it’s presented in a blanket statement to further demean women that require more. She should not be made to feel like she’s asking for too much by requiring a substantial partnership where she isn’t relegated to picking up where your mama left off. 

Keep the conversation going in the comments.